The Weakest Link of Hogwarts
by virginia-m-87
Summary: *This is it! Last Chapter up!* The characters go on Weakest Link...and undergo embarassment and stupidity.
1. Round 1

A/N This is written as a script because it was easier that way.  
  
J: Welcome to The Weakest Link of Hogwarts. I'm your host J. Introducing or players today, we have Harry, Hermione, Ron, Draco, Pansy, Goyle and Neville, in that order. I will ask the players randomly selected questions and they will have to answer them. I won't explain anymore because the players know what to do, and if you get lost, it is your own fault for not understanding how the show works. Players have one minute and twenty seconds in this round. Any questions?  
  
Hermione: (seems annoyed) I thought that you had longer than that in the first round?  
  
J: Well you usually do, but I got tired of typing, writing impros for you guys and coming up with questions, so I changed it. I can fill a minute and twenty seconds. (Hermione shrugs in a annoyed manner) Anymore questions? Good. Now, we will begin.  
  
(Strange music begins)  
  
Who is the headmaster of Hogwarts?  
  
Harry: Albus Dumbledore  
  
J: When does a werewolf assume his animal form?  
  
Hermione: (without hesitation) At the full moon.  
  
J: Hogwarts is one of many wizarding schools. Name one other.  
  
Ron: (pause) Beauxbatons  
  
J: Name another.  
  
Draco: (another pause) Durmstrang  
  
J: Why was the Triwizard Tournament discontinued?  
  
Pansy: (slight pause) Because of the death toll.  
  
Goyle: Bank  
  
J: Over the last four years, how many teachers of Defence of the Dark Arts have there been at Hogwarts?  
  
Goyle: Four  
  
J: What are the three illegal curses more commanly called?  
  
Neville: (pause) Illegal Curses  
  
J: No. The correct answer is Unforgivable Curses. Name one of the Unforgivable Curses.  
  
Harry: (pausing, unsure of himself) Ava- (pause, looks down then back up and quickly says) Imperius  
  
(Harry looks over at Ron, and points to his forehead. Ron shrugs inconspicuously)  
  
J: (not noticing Harry nor Ron) When do students normally take their O.W.L.s?  
  
Hermione: (without hesitation) Fifth year  
  
J: What very large eight-legged creatures live in the Forbidden Forest?  
  
Ron; (eyes wide and after a slight pause he nervously stutters) S-s-sp- iders  
  
J: What is the largest wizarding bank called?  
  
Draco: (smiles) Gringotts  
  
J: Where is it located?  
  
Pansy: (pause) Beneath the streets of London  
  
(music begins to quicken)  
  
Goyle: Bank  
  
J: By what means to most wizarding families receive mail?  
  
Goyle: (long pause) owl  
  
(Music quickly fades. Even though it is fading, it does it in a loud manner)  
  
J: And that is the end of the round. You banked a pathetic £310. It's time to vote off the weakest link and see who will go home with nothing.  
  
(A new, equally strange music fades in. It is soon accompanied by a strange and eerie voice.)  
  
Strange Voice-over: Hermione was the strongest link in this round, answering all of the questions quickly and at an amazing ease. Statistically, Neville was the weakest link.  
  
J: Voting is over. (The new strange music fades out.) Now to answer the question, if brains were bricks, who would be the hole in the wall? (Short uproar of laughter from the crowd) *smirks* Contestants, it is time to reveal who you think is the weakest link.  
  
Harry: Draco  
  
Hermione: Goyle  
  
Ron: Goyle  
  
Draco: Harry  
  
Pansy: Hermione  
  
Goyle: Harry  
  
Neville: Goyle  
  
J: Now I know and believe the rest of the world knows why Draco said Harry and why Harry said Draco, but Golye, I'm just a little curious, why do you say Harry?  
  
Goyle: Well, mainly because if I can't get him at school without getting in trouble, I might as well try to here. I guess it was also because Draco said too.  
  
(Draco slides Goyle two silver sickles)  
  
J: Well, just so you know, Neville was the weakest link in this round. Then again, it is the votes that count, and decide who will take the walk of shame. Goyle, you are the weakest link, goodbye.  
  
(Yet another strange piece of music starts up)  
  
Goyle steps out from behind his little podium, and walks toward J. He veers to the side and continues down the walk of shame.  
  
(backstage, music continues)  
  
Goyle: Harry should be out. He's pathetic. Draco should win. I hope that Draco heard that and remembers to pay me my galleon for that.  
  
(back on stage, music still continues)  
  
J: Well team, one down and more to go. Join us next time for the second round of The Weakest Link of Hogwarts.  
  
(music still continues as the scene fades away)  
  
Another A/N ~ Sorry it took so long to post this, the server banned me for some reason and I wasn't able to upload stuffs. But now I promise to be a good little girl and post more stuffs. I also don't own any of these characters, cause if I did, I would be rich and famous, which frankly wouldn't be all that bad. But, I didn't. 


	2. Round 2

A/N~ This is once again written as a script because it was easier that way. And I am sorry that I didn't say that the creatures in the Forbidden Forest were Acromantulas, it feels good to know that I am forgiven.  
  
J: Welcome to another round of The Weakest Link of Hogwarts. Once again, I'm your host J. Our players will be the same, without Goyle in the mix.. In this round, I will once again ask the players randomly selected questions and they will have to answer them. Players have one minute in this round. Any questions?  
  
Hermione: (once again seems annoyed) I thought that you had longer than that in the second round?  
  
J: (on the edge of annoyed) Well you usually do, but as I said last time, I got tired of typing, writing impros for you guys and coming up with questions, so I changed it. Filling a minute is easy (Hermione shrugs in an annoyed manner) Anymore questions? Good. Now, we will begin with the strongest link from the last round, Hermione.  
  
(Strange music begins)  
  
What is French for magic?  
  
Hermione: (with a little hesitation) magie.  
  
J: The high council of wizards is more commonly known as what?  
  
Ron: (without a pause) Ministry of Magic  
  
J: What is the Italian word for wizard?  
  
Draco: (another pause) wizard?  
  
J: Who was it that made the sorcerer's stone?  
  
Pansy: (slight pause) Nicholas Flamel.  
  
J: What would you get if you added powdered root asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?  
  
Neville: (shivers as he imagines the face of Professor Snape) A strong fertilizer?  
  
J: No. The correct answer is a sleeping potion known as the Drought of Living Death. How many points does a team receive when the snitch is caught?  
  
Harry: (smiling broadly) One hundred and fifty  
  
J: What is the formal name of Voldemort?  
  
(Everyone except Harry shivers slightly)  
  
Hermione: (without hesitation) Tom Marvolo Riddle  
  
J: What is the name of the most used wizarding newspaper?  
  
Ron; (smiling sure of himself) The Daily Prophet  
  
J: What hooded creature inflicts pain upon other by reminding them of the worst times in their life?  
  
Draco: (Looks at Harry and smiles cruelly) Dementors  
  
(music begins to quicken)  
  
J: What are Voldemort's sidekicks called?  
  
(All but Harry shiver again)  
  
Pansy: (Long pause) Um- um- (Draco hits his head repeatedly on the podium in front of him, Pansy looks at Draco) Death Eaters?  
  
(Music quickly fades. Even though it is fading, it does it in a loud manner)  
  
J: And that is the end of the round. You banked a even more pathetic £150. Now to vote off the weakest link, because everybody knows that a chain is only as strong as its weakest link.  
  
(A new, equally strange music fades in. It is soon accompanied by a strange and eerie voice.)  
  
Strange Voice-over: Hermione was the strongest link in this round yet again, answering all of the questions quickly and at an amazing ease. Statistically, once again, Neville was the weakest link.  
  
J: Voting is over. (The new strange music fades out.) Now to answer the question, who is one fry short of a happy meal? (Short uproar of laughter comes from the crowd) *smirks* Now contestants, it is time to reveal who you think is the weakest link.  
  
Harry: Draco  
  
Hermione: Ron  
  
Ron: Draco  
  
Draco: Harry  
  
Pansy: Ron  
  
Neville: Ron  
  
J: Hermione, we are all curious, why Ron?  
  
Hermione: (looking at Ron) Um- well, I just don't think that Ron would be able to last much longer under all the pressure.  
  
(Ron and Harry glare at Hermione, while Draco smiles)  
  
J: To let you know, Neville was the weakest link in this round, again. But, it is the votes that count, and decide who will take the next walk of shame. Ron, you are the weakest link, goodbye.  
  
(Yet another strange piece of music starts up)  
  
Ron steps out from behind his little podium, and walks toward J. He veers to the side and continues down the walk of shame.  
  
(Backstage, music continues)  
  
Ron: Hermione is just jealous. I'm a lot smarter than her, I just don't show it. I don't simply because I like her. (Smacks himself in the head) Did I actually say that out loud? You can cut that off the tape right?  
  
(Back on stage, music still continues)  
  
J: Well, another down and more to go. Join us next time for the third round of The Weakest Link of Hogwarts.  
  
(Music still continues as the scene fades away)  
  
Another A/N ~ Still sorry it took so long to post this, this time it was not because the server banned me for some reason and I wasn't able to upload stuffs. But now I promise to be a good little girl and post more stuffs. I also don't own any of these characters, cause if I did, I would be rich and famous, which frankly wouldn't be all that bad. But, I didn't. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you Quiet One that I was going out of town. Thank you bunches for helping me with this chapter. Reading the books thirteen times does pay off. 


	3. Round 3

A/N~ I won't mention that it is written a script, because I've done that twice already. I guess by saying that, I mentioned it again, didn't I. Oh well, I'm sorry. By the way… magie is a way to say magic in French. I researched it again and again.  
  
J: Well, here goes another round of The Weakest Link of Hogwarts. You should know by now that I'm your host J. Everyone is still here, except Goyle and Ron. They are backstage, watching from our monitors there.  
  
(backstage)  
  
Goyle: So, who do you think will win?  
  
Ron: Not Draco that is for sure.  
  
Goyle: Really? I don't think Harry has the slightest chance.  
  
Ron: You wanna start something?  
  
Goyle: Yea Weasel!  
  
(the two begin to go at each other, and the camera goes back on stage)  
  
J: But moving on… players will be asked questions, and I will give them a total of one minute to answer. I will not ask for questions this time, because a certain someone is certain to ask a question back.  
  
Hermione: (speaking to herself) *grumble, grumble* Yeah sure whatever. *grumble, grumble*  
  
J: (on the edge of annoyed) We will move on to more common, or not so common, knowledge about the muggle world. Now, we will begin with the strongest link from the last round, Hermione.  
  
(Strange music begins)  
  
Who was the first president of the United States of America?  
  
Hermione: (with a mil-second of hesitation) George Washington.  
  
J: What is the national name of Bulgaria?  
  
Draco: (smiling) Since I know the great quidditch teams… Narodna Republika Bulgariya  
  
J: Name one of the major languages in Ireland.  
  
Pansy: (another pause) English?  
  
J: What letter is in the center of the Rwanda flag?  
  
Neville: (long pause) Um… R?  
  
J: What flag is blue with a single white star in the middle?  
  
Harry: (thinks a while) Somalia?  
  
J: In what year did Queen Elizabeth II take the throne?  
  
Hermione: (smiling, pleased of herself) In 1952  
  
J: What currency is used in Russia?  
  
Draco: (pausing slightly) I went there last summer… the ruble  
  
J: In what year was Adolf Hitler born?  
  
Pansy: (shrugging) I don't know… but his mom almost had an abortion with him.  
  
J: Although that is true… the correct answer is 1889. What major event was he responsible for?  
  
Nelville: (Looks into the crowd) um… World War I?  
  
(music begins to quicken)  
  
J: No, the Holocaust. Who wrote Romeo and Juliet?  
  
Harry: (Long pause) I'm thinking Shakespeare?  
  
(Music quickly fades. Even though it is fading, it does it in a loud manner)  
  
J: And that is the end of the round. You banked a even more pathetic £25. Now to vote off the weakest link and see who is making stupid people feel smart.  
  
(A new, equally strange music fades in. It is soon accompanied by a strange and eerie voice.)  
  
Strange Voice-over: This is getting old but Hermione was the strongest link in this round, answering all of the questions quickly and at an amazing ease. Statistically, once again, Neville was the weakest link.  
  
J: Voting is over. (The new strange music fades out.) Now to answer the question, who wasted time on their broomstick to get here? (Short uproar of laughter comes from the crowd) *smirks* Now contestants, it is time to reveal who you think is the weakest link.  
  
Harry: Draco  
  
Hermione: Pansy  
  
Draco: Harry  
  
Pansy: Hermione  
  
Neville: Hermione  
  
J: Pansy, why Hermione?  
  
Pansy: (ignoring Hermione's glare) I lose enough to her at school. I thought that I might as well beat her here.  
  
(Hermione continues to glare, Draco smiles again)  
  
J: To let you know, Neville was the weakest link in this round, yet again. But, it is the votes that count, and decide who will take the next walk of shame. Hermione, you are the weakest link, goodbye.  
  
(Yet another strange piece of music starts up)  
  
Hermione steps out from behind her little podium, and walks toward J. She veers to the side and continues down the walk of shame.  
  
(Backstage, music continues)  
  
Hermione: See what happens when you are smart? Well, at least this doesn't happen at school!  
  
(Back on stage, music still continues)  
  
J: Four to go. Join us next time for the fourth round of The Weakest Link of Hogwarts.  
  
(Music still continues as the scene fades away)  
  
Another A/N ~ Ok.. in my little world… you get money, even if you don't bank, as long as the chain isn't broken. If you have a problem with that… deal with it. Or as Kat says, cry a river, build a bridge and get over it! 


	4. Round 4

A/N~ Ok, I'm reposting this one, because I was reading through it and found an error. It annoyed me soooo much, I re did it. Also. This time I won't even think it. I know I updated really soon. That is simply because I will be leaving for a week, having no access to a computer. Even if I find a computer, there will probably be no way to hook up to the net. So yeah. If you don't hear anything new from me, I didn't die!  
  
J: Okay, time for another round of The Weakest Link of Hogwarts. I'm J. Left, we have Harry, Draco, Pansy and Neville. Everyone else is backstage. Due to the reaction in the last round, they are being monitored there.  
  
(Backstage)  
  
Peeves: Okay kiddies. Behave. I promise I won't throw water balloons at you.  
  
Hermione: Sure you won't Peeves.  
  
Goyle: So, who do you think will win?  
  
Ron: Don't start that again.  
  
Goyle: What?  
  
Hermione: Honestly you two. You are almost as bad as Harry and Draco.  
  
Goyle: Yea Weasel!  
  
Ron: Notice she said almost!  
  
Peeves: Oh this will be fun!  
  
(The camera goes back on stage, leaving Hermione rolling her eyes)  
  
J: Alright . Now we start with fifty seconds. (Annoyed) Due to the fact that the last round was really disgraceful, we will now move on to common sayings and songs. Since the weakest link from the last round is now out, (muffled splashes and shouts from backstage) we will start with the next player. That is you Draco.  
  
(Draco smiles wildly. Strange music begins)  
  
Fill in the blanks.  
  
Something old, something new, something borrowed, something.  
  
Draco: .blue.  
  
J: One fish, two fish, red fish.  
  
Pansy: (smiling) .blue fish *to herself. this is easy! *  
  
J: It was an itsy, bitsy, teeny, weenie, yellow polka dot.  
  
Neville: (Pause) .flying purple-people eater  
  
J: No, bikini. Somewhere over.  
  
Harry: .the rainbow (smiling and also thinking to himself how easy this is)  
  
J: Eat more.  
  
Draco: .chicken!  
  
J: Oops, I .  
  
Pansy: (smiling, pleased of herself) .did it again.  
  
Neville: Bank!  
  
J: Dr. Pepper makes the world.  
  
Neville: (pausing slightly) taste good.  
  
(Music begins to quicken)  
  
J: No, taste better. Mi casa, es.  
  
Harry: .su casa  
  
(Music quickly fades. Even though it is fading, it does it in a loud manner)  
  
J: And that is the end of the round. You banked a somewhat less pathetic £70. Now to vote off the weakest link and decide whom would be better off reading cue cards the rest of their life.  
  
(A new, equally strange music fades in. It is soon accompanied by a strange and eerie voice.)  
  
Strange Voice-over: Only because Hermione is out, Pansy is the strongest link. Don't ask why. It is simply because I said so. Statistically, again, Neville was the weakest link.  
  
J: Voting is over. (The new strange music fades out.) We will now answer the question, who should write a song about their pitiful lives? (Short uproar of laughter comes from the crowd) *smirks * Let's see who the weakest link is.  
  
Harry: Draco  
  
Draco: Harry  
  
Pansy: Me  
  
Neville: Pansy  
  
J: Pansy, why are you voting off yourself?  
  
Pansy: (looking down, avoiding everyone's stare) Well, since I don't want to beat Draco, and figured Harry and Draco would vote out each other, I decided to chance Neville voting me out.  
  
(Draco looks like he can not decide if he should smile or not. Harry and Neville just stare at her.)  
  
J: To let you know, and this is getting old, Neville was the weakest link in this round, yet again. But, it is the votes that count, and decide who will take the next walk of shame. Pansy, you are the weakest link, goodbye.  
  
(Yet another strange piece of music starts up)  
  
Pansy steps out from behind her little podium, and walks toward J. She veers to the side and continues down the walk of shame.  
  
(Backstage, music continues)  
  
Pansy: So what is I don't want to lose to Draco? That doesn't mean I like him! Ok, so what if I like him? He doesn't have to know. Not that he even knows I even am around, he spends so much time making fun of Harry! Even when... (She continues on. and on)  
  
(Back on stage, music still continues)  
  
J: Only three left. Join us next time for the fifth round of The Weakest Link of Hogwarts.  
  
(Music still continues as the scene fades away)  
  
Another A/N ~ Lalala. so maybe sugar is a bad thing around midnight. :-P 


	5. Round 5

A/N~ Sorry it took so long to post this chapter. I would like to say I DO count this as a story, because it took me a while to come up with all of the questions, write it obviously, plan exactly who would be voted out, and posting, and dealing with reviews. Most reviews I have taken to heart, and added stuff. Others I have sort of ignored (sorry) because at the time, my mood wasn't that great. I'm sure though that you would rather read the STORY than listen to me rant. So here you go.  
  
J: And we are back. I'm J. To continue, we have Harry, Draco and Neville. Backstage are the previously voted off players. Last round there was a flood backstage after the show, so Peeves will not be the one monitoring the players.  
  
(Backstage)  
  
Professor Snape: Alright. Don't make me tell you to shut up. Just behave, or it is a detention for all of you! Am I understood?  
  
All: Yes.  
  
Goyle: So, who do you think will win?  
  
Ron: Oh shut up.  
  
Goyle: What?  
  
Snape: Watch it Weasley.  
  
Hermione: Come on Ron.  
  
Goyle: Yea Weasel!  
  
Ron: Oh can it Goyle!  
  
Pansy: This is not going to be good.  
  
Snape: Weasley. I'm warning you!  
  
(The camera goes back on stage, leaving Ron and Goyle glaring at each other, and Snape with his usual put-out look on his face.)  
  
J: Anyway . We start with forty seconds. (Annoyed) That last round was better, but still disgraceful. We will move to Disney trivia, since most people know that. Then again most people know the stuff from the previous two rounds also. Since the strongest link from the last round voted herself out, we will start with the next player. That is you Neville.  
  
(From backstage: Weasley!)  
  
(Neville looks nervous. Strange music begins)  
  
Originally, what was Mickey Mouse's name going to be?  
  
Neville: Mikey?  
  
J: No, Mortimer. Other than not talking, how is Dopey different from the other dwarves?  
  
Harry: (unsure) um. oh yea. Dopey has no beard!  
  
J: Because you are all stupid, and I don't like you. How many puppies were in 101 Dalmatians?  
  
Draco: 101. Duh!  
  
J: Um. no. There were 99 puppies. In Alice in Wonderland, Alice follows a white rabbit who is always what?  
  
Neville: Going the other direction?  
  
J: Although that is true, the answer is late. What city in Florida is the home of Disney?  
  
Harry: Orlando. I think.  
  
(Music begins to quicken)  
  
J: Out of the following movies, which does not have a sequel; Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella or Bambi?  
  
Draco: Bambi.. though all of them are stupid.  
  
(Music quickly fades. Even though it is fading, it does it in a loud manner)  
  
J: Round is over. You banked a very pathetic £30. We will now to vote off the weakest link and decide who should not apply next time Jeopardy is looking for contestants.  
  
(A new, equally strange music fades in. It is soon accompanied by a strange and eerie voice.)  
  
Strange Voice-over: For the first time, Harry is the strongest link. And yet again, Neville was the weakest link.  
  
J: Voting is over. (The new strange music fades out.) We will now answer the question, who has better luck at Professor Snape's final? (Short uproar of laughter comes from the crowd) *smirks * Let's see who the weakest link is.  
  
(From backstage, Snape's voice: I heard that!)  
  
J: And you can do nothing about it because I don't go to Hogwarts! But back to the voting.  
  
Harry: Draco  
  
Draco: Harry  
  
Neville: Harry  
  
J: Neville, why Harry?  
  
Neville: (looking away from Harry) To be perfectly honest, I'm sick of him getting all of the attention, and For once, I don't want him to go solo against Draco. I see enough of that at school  
  
(Draco is smiling broadly. Harry Just looks at Neville.)  
  
J: For your information Neville, you were the weakest link, and Harry the strongest. But, it is the votes that count, and decide who will take the next walk of shame. Harry, you are the weakest link, goodbye.  
  
(Yet another strange piece of music starts up)  
  
Harry steps out from behind his little podium, and walks toward J. He veers to the side and continues down the walk of shame.  
  
(Backstage, music continues)  
  
Harry: Not go solo against Draco! Neville is crazy! He even thinks I enjoy all of the attention! Ok, so I like attention, but not all of it. Rita Skeeter's was the worst. If he wants the attention, he can have it. He can have this awful scar too! It by the way is stinging!  
  
(Back on stage, music still continues)  
  
J: Down to our last two. Join us next time for the sixth round of The Weakest Link of Hogwarts.  
  
(Music still continues as the scene fades away)  
  
Another A/N~ Sorry about the ranting. Reason took so long to post. first I was out of town, without internet access, then when I get back, the server is down. So I, and everyone else, had to wait. Next one should be up tomorrow. Later. 


	6. Round 6

A/N~ Here. almost done!!!!  
  
J: Ok team, in this round, you have a chance to just increase your money. At the end of the round, there will not be a vote, so you cannot be voted off, or out however you want to put it. Harry has been added to our group backstage, who behaved much better last round.  
  
(Backstage)  
  
Professor Snape: Weasley, you are a hair's width from a detention. Potter, would you like to join him?  
  
Harry. Thank you but no.  
  
Goyle: So, Harry, who do you think will win?  
  
Harry: Shut up.  
  
Ron: Thank you Harry.  
  
Snape: Potter, I'm warning you.  
  
Hermione: Come on guys, shut up.  
  
Goyle: Yea Weasel!  
  
Pansy: Oh can it Goyle!  
  
Harry: I'm glad I didn't get voted out sooner  
  
Snape: All of you, chill!  
  
(The camera goes back on stage, leaving Ron and Goyle glaring at each other, and Snape with his usual put-out look on his face.)  
  
J: You will have thirty seconds. (Annoyed) Since wizarding stuff is all you seem to know, we will go back to that. Since the strongest link from the last round is out, we will start with the next player. That is you Draco.  
  
(From backstage: That is a detention!)  
  
(Draco has a wide grin on his face. Strange music begins)  
  
At King's Cross station, which platform must you board for the Hogwarts Express?  
  
Draco: Platform 9 ¾  
  
J: Staring straight into the eyes of a basilisk, will bring what?  
  
Neville: (eyes going blank) Death.  
  
J: True or false: Harry Potter is the only person to survive the Killing Curse?  
  
Draco: (put out) True  
  
J: A boggart appears as what?  
  
Neville: (imagining Snape) Your worst fear. (Then smiles thinking of Snape in a dress)  
  
(Music begins to quicken)  
  
J: What is the term for a wizard who is capable of changing into an animal at his own will?  
  
Draco: Animagus.  
  
(Music quickly fades. Even though it is fading, it does it in a loud manner)  
  
J: Round is over. You banked an amazing £150. That will be added to your total, which you will compete for in the next round. You will be playing for a total of £735. That is the worst total I have ever seen!  
  
(Backstage, music continues)  
  
Snape: All of you detention!  
  
(Back on stage, music still continues)  
  
J: Join us next time for the last round of The Weakest Link of Hogwarts.  
  
(Music still continues as the scene fades away)  
  
A/N~ And thank you to Kitty Empress for helping me post this stuff while I'm out of town 


	7. Final Round

A/N~ I will say right now.. this was too much fun to write.  
  
Final Round  
  
J: Ok, time to see who will take home the 735. But first to check in backstage.  
  
(Backstage)  
  
Professor Snape: You all have a detention. I'm thinking of two full weeks scrubbing cauldrons?  
  
Hermione: You are joking right?  
  
Snape: No Miss Granger, I'm serious.  
  
Harry: No one probably gives a care, but my scar hurts.  
  
Ron: Harry, that is a bad thing right?  
  
Hermione: It has been every other time.  
  
Goyle: Yea Weasel!  
  
Pansy: Oh can it Goyle!  
  
Snape: Can it! You are making my head hurt!  
  
(The camera goes back on stage, leaving Ron and Goyle glaring at each other, Harry rubbing his forehead and Snape with his usual put-out look on his face.)  
  
J: You will have as long as needed. But this is the last round, so we will do what I really want to do. What I want to do is Lord of the Rings!  
  
(A giant smile breaks out on Neville's face, and Draco gets a look of disgust on his, which looks like a 'what?????')  
  
(From backstage: Potter, shut up about that stupid scar! Make that a three weeks detention!)  
  
(Strange music begins)  
  
Where was the Ring Forged?  
  
Draco: A jewelry store?  
  
(Neville's jaw falls)  
  
J: No in the fires of Mount Doom. Fellowship of the Ring was published in what year?  
  
Neville: 1954  
  
Draco- X 2 3 4 5 Neville- ( 2 3 4 5  
  
J: The average hobbit is how old?  
  
Draco: (put out) This is an outrage.  
  
J: No. 100. How many members are in the Fellowship?  
  
Neville: (smiling) Nine.  
  
Draco- X X 3 4 5 Neville- ( ( 3 4 5  
  
J: What is Gollum's birth name?  
  
Draco: Stupid.  
  
J: (put out) No. Smeagol. Neville, get this right and you win. Who was there 'the day the strength of men failed'?  
  
Neville: (wildly smiling) Elrond  
  
(Music quickly fades. Even though it is fading, it does it in a loud manner)  
  
J: Congratulations Neville. You get £735. Congratulations!  
  
(Backstage, music continues)  
  
Draco: This is an outrage! Wait till my father hears about this!  
  
Neville: Finally Grandmother won't be totally ashamed of me. This is cool!  
  
(Back on stage, music still continues)  
  
J: Hope you enjoyed this show. Maybe next time, who knows, maybe Weakest Link of the Fellowship?  
  
(Music still continues as the scene fades away)  
  
Strange Voice-over: And now for my moment!  
  
(Scene fades back in, a strange figure is standing where J was)  
  
Strange Voice-over: Hahaha! And now to dominate you all! For all you stupid people out there. I am Voldemort!  
  
(The audience gasps)  
  
Voldemort: Muahaha! I promise you now. I am back, and there is no stopping me! I hate Harry Potter! And anyone who has enough time on their hands to write Harry Potter fan fiction, is stupid!  
  
(J walks back on stage)  
  
J: I resent that remark Voldemort!  
  
Voldemort: And I will now kill you!  
  
J: I'd like to see you try!  
  
Voldemort: My pleasure.  
  
(Voldemort rips out his wand and points it at J)  
  
J: You have got to be kidding me!  
  
(J pulls on a cord, opening a trap door. The door happens to be under Voldemort. Voldemort falls. We then hear a barking, growling, and a whining.)  
  
J: I knew Fluffy would come in handy! Later y'all!  
  
(Stage blacks out again. Then on runs Harry)  
  
Harry: Wait a minute here! I was supposed to destroy Voldemort! I wanted the glory!!!! I admit it. I like the fame!!!!!  
  
(Harry runs off in an aggravated mood. we hear Draco saying something at his back)  
  
Draco: You would think.. With all of that money that Potty has, he would be able to afford some doctor to remove that scar. But no. without it "there would be no fame or glory" Potty would be an outcast like Weasel.  
  
(Draco begins to laugh in the last few sentences. and the scene fades out. and the network cuts the show before anymore is allowed)  
  
(More like the author forces herself to stop writing. for now she is just carrying on about nothing)  
  
A/N~ BTW: I have no idea how much 735 pounds is. it is just there. As I wrote in there. I want to do something with Lord of the Rings. just not sure what.. Open for suggestions though. Later.  
  
Oh. and a 'I Love Tom Felton' reviewed my story. and was obviously displeased with the content, because it was similar to one of their own. this was done unintentionally. for I had never before heard of this person, or read any of the Weakest Link stories, to avoid such things. I am sorry if I offended anyone.. For I wrote this for fun.  
  
.if you don't like it, don't read it. and please don't write an offensive review, where words must be censored to show it to young children. Thanks 


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